Dear Important and Precious Woman: On behalf of myself, and on behalf of many of my brothers, I want to apologize to you. This apology is for you, specifically, and secondarily for all women. I wish I could speak on behalf of all men, but sadly,...
This is one of my favorite essays ever published. It originally appeared in Esquire Magazine, in their October 1993 issue. Mental bungee-jumping may not be your sport of choice, but there’s a cerebral ledge that sooner or later each of us has to leap off. One day,...
[Originally published as a Choice Magazine Expert Series] In this 4-part series, we examine BELIEFS – what they are, how they function, and how they impact your client’s behavior (and your own, as well). Part 1: What To Do When Your Client’s Behavior Confuses You Have you had clients who...
[First published by Choice Magazine for Coaches] We recognize the negative power that limiting beliefs play in our clients’ lives, but how do you identify the real cause? How did they form in the first place? And how can you help your client clear them? It’s easy to...
[First published in Choice, The Magazine of Professional Coaching, Volume 19, Number 1, 2021] It has finally dawned on Western society that underneath most our deep problems, issues, and discomforts are wounds and traumas from the past. These Adverse Childhood Experiences have been well documented by...
Published in Coaching World, the magazine of the International Coach Federation . Your client offers another excuse as to why they didn’t do what they committed to in your last session. You’ve seen this pattern lead to failure, and know you need to focus on the underlying...
Do you ever judge other people? Do you judge yourself? It’s a very human thing to do. We know what it feels like to be judged by another person. It feels crappy. So why do we do it to others? There’s a good reason, but we...
Brene’ Brown, PhD (author of The Gifts of Imperfection) has spoken articulately about shame, and I can feel the force of that emotion inside of me. I am able to facilitate deep transformation in others only because I have looked deeply into myself, into the core...
Beliefs are useful. They eliminate the discomfort of the unknown. A rule of the mind states: "Familiar is safe and comfortable. Unfamiliar is dangerous and uncomfortable." Our biological and anthropological history installed anxiety as a survival mechanism. This deep program was useful when the world was full...
During a presentation to the Los Angeles Chapter of the International Coach Federation, a coach asked me whether transformation could be as quick and efficient as I had claimed in my talk. “I’ve tried other techniques,” she said, “but the only thing that’s worked is...